#reverb10 – sara mcguyer

Dunbar Recipe

December 9 Party.
What social gathering rocked your socks off in 2010? Describe the people, music, food, drink, clothes, shenanigans. (Prompt author: Shauna Reid)

My favorite party goes like this:
I get a craving. Or L. does. We plan and shop and make every dish dirty crafting a meal at home. We open wine we bought in Italy, saved for special occasions. After, we dance in bare feet in the dining room or sing songs.

Or a friend calls randomly and says, “Hey, I’m making a big pot of chili. Come and eat with us.” And we all gather in the kitchen for beers and good laughs.

Or a lovely couple invites a small group for a Burns Supper, complete with poetry, Haggis, Tatties and Neeps. And scotch-fueled board games lasting into the wee hours.

Small, intimate gatherings win hands down every time, and only get better if it involves sharing food. A collected warmth forms between people that share nights like this.

Dunbar’s Number says humans can maintain 150 stable relationships. But that smaller core, the ones you cook with, how many fit in that circle?

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Image credit: Mr T in DC via Flickr

This post is a part of #reverb10 by Gwen Bell. Gwen and her team enlisted a group of authors to write prompts for each day in December. Participants can blog, tweet or post photos in reaction to the prompts to reflect on the past year.

Always Wait for the Whistle

December 8 Beautifully Different.
Think about what makes you different and what you do that lights people up. Reflect on all the things that make you different – you’ll find they’re what make you beautiful. (Prompt author: Karen Walrond)

When I think about what makes me different and beautiful, or anyone else for that matter, I’m reminded of the the opening of the movie Amelie. We are introduced to the people in Ameilie’s life by short lists of things they love and things they hate. It’s a quick, clever way to sum up a person and incredibly telling of their overall personality.

Amelie, for example, likes to dip her hand into sacks of grain, look back to sneak glances at the faces of people watching movies in the theater and skip stones, but doesn’t like it when strangers brush her hand or when drivers in old movies don’t watch the road while driving.

These are the quirks that make people unique, the sort of things you uncover slowly as you get to know a person. Each learned quirk is a small reward symbolizing closeness. Sometimes when I’m getting to know people I think of them this way – what would their little Amelie-esque loves/hates be?

If a clever movie montage of my quirks were made, this would be among them: I love the sound of a tea kettle whistle. Even if I know the water is hot enough, I always wait for the whistle. Always.

What would be one your movie montage quirks?

Extras from Amelie:

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Different Types of Belonging

December 7 Community.
Where have you discovered community, online or otherwise, in 2010? What community would you like to join, create or more deeply connect with in 2011? (Prompt author: Cali Harris)

I couldn’t pick just one. I chose Sundayed as my favorite online community of the year. Indy Film Fest deserves a mention as it fills my need for volunteerism. And Pick Two earns a spot here because my fellow knitters have become such lovely friends. Each of these communities provides a different type of belonging, all push me creatively.

Sundayed
Sometimes I am still amazed that I ended up among the group of really sharp writers and thought leaders contributing to Sundayed. And while I questioned if I belonged in the mix, I’m so grateful for the experience and to Jason Moriber for inviting me to be a part of it.

Sundayed created an outlet for a more thoughtful introspection I didn’t know I needed. I’ve always been more guarded and it stretched my openness to a new level. A few years ago, despite the burgeoning presence of social media in my life, I couldn’t have imagined sharing some of the stories I posted there.

The Indy Film Fest
The volunteers I work with at the Film Fest amaze me with their endless creativity and shared dedication to bringing beautiful, challenging films to Indianapolis. Doesn’t hurt that even admidst hard work or serious meetings, we always discover some fun to be had.

Pick Two

I wasn’t even sure if I’d stick with knitting when I took it up as a hobby in 2009. The group I knit with, Pick Two, has grown into something sacred. Part craft, part therapy, the group is chock full of wit and personality.

In 2011, I hope to be a part of a dynamic work community. Wish me luck?

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Image credit: dougww via Flickr

The Making of Things

December 6 Make.
What was the last thing you made? What materials did you use? Is there something you want to make, but you need to clear some time for it? (Prompt author: Gretchen Rubin)

My work involves making things every day. Email designs. Web banners. Marketing calendars. In my spare time, I try to keep a personal creative project in the works. My latest:

A pair of fingerless mitts with picot edging, knit from an organic cotton/wool blend yarn. Sadly, I’ve already misplaced them after only a couple of wears. I’m hoping they’ll turn up soon.

There are always projects I want to work on, things to make. I spent less time in 2010 on painting than I’d hoped. I started a series of bird paintings two years ago and planned to finally add a peacock, owl and penguin to the collection in 2010. Maybe in 2011?

Since then new ideas for projects have taken root in my mind, so I may never paint another bird. What’s more important to me is to always have a creative endeavor in process, whether it’s writing, music-related or making art.

Balancing projects like knitting, where I create by following a pattern, with projects entirely of my own design seem to flex different areas of the brain. I do firmly believe that these personal creative pursuits both keep me sharp and inspire my work in my day job.

What do you think? Do independent projects inspire you in your day job? Or do you get more benefit from considering them a separate creative outlet?

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A Life Less Cluttered

December 5 Let Go.
What (or whom) did you let go of this year? Why? (Prompt author: Alice Bradley)

Stuff.
I’m no hoarder, but I still surprise myself at some of the things I’ve kept and hauled between Evansville and Chicago and Indianapolis. Moving several times in the span of a year puts all of the excess in rather harsh perspective. If something was still in a box since the last time I moved and had no or low sentimental value, I finally could let it go this year.

I’m still pruning this collection of stuff that I keep in my home. I have a growing pile of things in my basement, all ready to sell or donate. Getting rid of the excess has translated to how a feel – a little lighter, freer. It has squashed what little tendency I had for impulse buying. Shopping at big box places for mass produced goods meant to wear out within a year or two seems a little insane.

I still have work to do, but for now, I’m enjoying a life less cluttered.

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For more, see Pieces of Me, a related post on the inequality of stuff.

Image credit: osbornb via Flickr

What is That Thing Anyway?

December 4 Wonder.
How did you cultivate a sense of wonder in your life this year? (Prompt author: Jeffrey Davis)

Long ago, in a high school classroom, I learned a lesson about cultivating wonder. Mr. Hughes, an English teacher with a knack for prodding creativity, presented a strange object to the class. He asked us to guess what this flat block of green-painted wood with two metal scrolls coming out of it could be. To be honest, I don’t even remember what it was, or what I guessed for that matter, and simple identification wasn’t the real point of the exercise anyway.

Several students took turns, each with his or her own idea of uses for it. Mr. Hughes would hold the object in front of them while they guessed. When my turn came I took the object from his hands so I could move it around, examine it from different angles. I pulled the metal scrolls apart, and upon letting them go they made a clanging sound.

“Exactly!” he said. He didn’t just want us to look at the object. He wanted us to explore it by engaging all of our senses. It took more time and effort to investigate further and taking it from his hands hadn’t been part of the instructions. But new possibilities were suddenly unlocked. Movement and sound weren’t part of the equation when merely looking at the object. I’m sure he had no idea how much this small moment shaped my thinking.

The brain is wired to make quick observations. Rely on only one sense, and you’ll likely follow the fast and easy path your mind creates for you. Consider the McGurk effect, when what you see can override what you hear. How easy is it to accept what we see and move on, when our own brain will play tricks on us to keep the world orderly?

Openness and patience to wonder and discovery. That’s the key to my world view. This way of operating can be quite infuriating to type A personalities. I might seem pokey or scattered to someone more interested in the direct path. There’s method in this madness, though. And a whole world out there to mull over.

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Everyday Adventure

December 3 Moment.
Pick one moment during which you felt most alive this year. Describe it in vivid detail (texture, smells, voices, noises, colors). (Prompt author: Ali Edwards)

While walking with L. and the Dogs.
When my dogs spot a chipmunk up ahead or we travel to a new place, they breathe heavier. They lunge forward, eager for the unknown, the new. A subtle reminder, at a time when I needed it.

Embrace curiosity and the wonders of the world.

The blue-white open sky, a fresh wind of fall,
a damp papering of yellowed leaves on the trail:
a new sense of adventure for the everyday.

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Image credit: onigiri-kun via Flickr

Day in the Life

Or, What Keeps Me from Writing.

December 2 Writing.
What do you do each day that doesn’t contribute to your writing — and can you eliminate it?
(Prompt author: Leo Babauta)

Alarm, snooze, alarm. Ugh. < this is the telling moment when you discover I’m not a morning person.
Make the coffee, check the emails, the twitters, the google reader. Read, read, read.
Shower up, get dressed.
Breakfast and wishing people happy birthday on facebook. (wait! that doesn’t count as writing?!)
Work, first at home, then travel into office. Craft some emails (technically writing, right?), chat with a client, complete digital project exhibit A, B & if I’m lucky, C.
Wait for it – it’s the inevitable oh-my-god-how-did-it-get-to-be-5 p.m. surprise!
Ok, that’s done.
Head home to insanely excitable furry things. Feed them.
Respond to personal emails. (ok, it’s getting late. Can we count this as writing if I promise to be crafty and clever?)
Furry things request ever so subtly with nudging noses that we take a walk. Bundle up, hit the neighborhood.
Starved, make the dinner. Eat the dinner, hopefully with the husband (unless he’s working late). Preferably with a glass of wine.
Check up on my volunteer job. Emails, marketing plans & board meetings, oh my.
If at this point it isn’t already midnight: proceed to write. Or read. Or not.

Every day is an excuse to not write. I’m always hopeful for that golden hour at the end of the day. But the truth is, that time is divided between friends and family and music and reading and all else. When I need to write, I find a way to make it happen. I shift. I prioritize. I wouldn’t seek to eliminate bits of my days to create time.

But this does make me wonder, am I missing out on a lot of writing possibilities by not carving out the specific time and keeping it sacred?

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Fixed Purpose

Last year I participated in #best09, a blogging project by Gwen Bell. The idea was to reflect and write about your year through a series of prompts. Being spoon fed thoughtful blogging topics and sharing it all with a sharp, amazing community of people sounds easy, right? Nope. Not a chance.

I found it quite challenging to really dig in and spend quality time reflecting on a year as it passes through what for me can be the most harried month. December, how I love thee, but there never seems to be enough time.

And the prompts require some serious thought. This is no copy and paste from your twitter feed type of job. That’s exactly why the project is worthwhile, and why I am taking another stab at Gwen’s #reverb10.

Here goes nothing.

December 1 One Word.
Encapsulate the year 2010 in one word. Explain why you’re choosing that word. Now, imagine it’s one year from today, what would you like the word to be that captures 2011 for you?
(Prompt author: Gwen Bell)

Recovery.
I don’t mean the economy or the nation’s confidence, though I suppose that could all apply. My year was defined largely by the death of a friend and a house hunt that lasted months longer than planned. These two may seem mismatched, but it was likely that I coped with the house stuff (and everything else) a little less ably than I would have otherwise.

I wrote extensively about Doug’s death over at Sundayed if you’d like to know more. It took the better part of the year to get here, but I can revisit memories of him and find joy. Ah, recovery.

I just returned from Thanksgiving weekend in Chicago. I picked up a few last Doug mementos that were set aside for me. I got to spend some time with Doug’s old partner. I told him about how I mowed the lawn at my new house for the first time wearing Doug’s Burberry scarf (he was quite the fashionable type). We had a good laugh because who mows the lawn in Burberry? But we agreed Doug would.

I spent the first half of the year house hunting. We missed out on several places I really thought I’d call home. We were outbid on one. Our offer wasn’t accepted on another and we had to walk away. I had mentally decorated a good handful of houses that didn’t work out throughout the year. I never realized how much of a roller coaster house hunting could be. We lived in two temporary places in Indy, and ended up moving 3 times before finally buying a home. It’s just now feeling very settled, like home.

The need for recovery kept popping up. One best friend died, another moved half across the country to Philly. My current company moved to the west coast and I’ve been trying to help them with that transition while finding new work for myself. More literally, there’s the sprained wrist, a re-injury from a 10+ year old bike wreck. So, here’s to admitting this hasn’t been my best year.

But by some miracle of resilience I didn’t know I had, I keep finding recovery.

With that in mind, a year from now, I want to reflect on a rockin’ year, a year where things click. I’m not seeking mere kismet. Sure, luck might help. But after such a series of things out of my control, I’m determined to shape a few things, will them to happen in 2011. A year full of intention.

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Image credit: Kjunstorm via Flickr